:: Don't Eat The Yellow Snow: Defining Moments ::

:: Sunday, November 21, 2004 ::

February-June 2004: November 2004 .
I had a lot of trouble putting this in, mainly due to the deeply personal nature of the subject matter,
(And the way it makes me sound like a bit of a girl and thus betrays my calm cool masculine exterior) but in the end I thought, "What the hey."
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that it deals with my break-up from Julia and the related aftermath. I wrote it primarily as a journal to myself initially, just to get things straight in my own head, then, it became a blog entry, which I never could quite post in good faith. Later on, (as in, this month) I re-read, fixed up, edited and added some stuff and took some artistic licence to, just so it wasn't ALL truth and to make it less like a rant and more like a story. I think I achieved a unique mix of rant and story. I call it a stant!

I read through and cringe at how at certain points I sound; bitter, twisted, needy, sappy, clingy, desperate, emotional, sappy, angry and sappy. But mostly sappy. The consistent changing in tone is probably because I wrote at it in about 12 different sittings as I was in a variety of different moods. But hey, I am comfortable enough in my self-image to let y'all read it. I know it just says what you would feel in the same situation.

I am fairly certain that there isn't anything in there that can be perceived as derogatory, as you might expect from a break up. I'm not out to make enemies here.

I might even show it to J before I let the rest of you read it, just to cover all my bases.
Anyway, just to be SUPER sure, understand that this is an account of what I was feeling at certain moments in time, and not a reflection of what I feel now. Julia and I get on fine. I'm happy that she is happy, and I am sure that goes both ways. Though what we had was special. It's in the past and that's where it stays.
I have also changed some details, so it is not all true. I'm not going to tell you what I changed, and since its primarily interior monologue and hence, intangible, you won't be able to tell. So there!
Do we understand?

Good.

If this is the first thing you are reading on this site. Please, I am not as bad and hopelessly romantic and loserish the whole thing makes me sound.

I'm going to stop over explaining things now, before you go in with preconceptions.
:: Nick 3:16 PM [+] ::
...

a